maskreant | INBOX

I'll be fine. I can just ask my friends to give me a lift and I'll be at your place in no time.

It's probably better that way. I don't want to stare at the white void for too long.

You'll go crazy.

i hope you two don’t get lost then. i’ll be waiting.

stay safe.

[ First, he’s going to prep the ingredients as he waits. ]

No worries.

I'm already standing outside the front door. Gimme a sec.

[He enters the kitchen and greets Akira with his usual smile.]

Hey!

Hey... How did you get in here?

[ He doesn’t even remember hearing the doorbell ring or his roommates getting it. Perplexed, he stares at Nanashi for good minute as he’s working on some salmon.

Morrigan, at least, greets him with his usual meow. ]

I came in through the window? I was small enough to fit in so I tried coming in that way.

[Child please use doors normally wow.]

It might be a tight fit for you.

[stop]

[ Note to self, tell the house about people easily getting in. Also, shut windows all the way when not supervised. Akira blinks once, twice before going back to prepping the herbs and checking his phone for the recipe. They’re sizeable fillets and a side of asparagus, so it’ll be good. ]

We have a door, you know. [ ... damnit. Now he’s wondering if he can fit— ] So you said you’re feeling better?

One day I saw cat enter through the window and wondered if I could do it too. [It's always cats.]

Only a little. [ He only feels that way thanks to his friends and all the medication he's been receiving. ]

I have to go home soon.... so I can apologize to Jouhei and my family members. I'll let you know if it works out?

[ Nanashi will keep Akira posted on his family situation. ]

Oh.

[ Akira is blinking slowly, looking at Morrigan with a squint. Sighs. Kitty. Why? He pops open the fish into the oven, setting up a timer and everything. It shouldn't take that long. ]

Yeah, keep me posted. [ Hmm. ] Not nervous?

I'm so nervous, Akira.

[He's good at being honest.]

I always found it hard to speak with my family members. Jouhei's different since he's my cousin. Maybe it'll turn out okay.

[One can only hope for the best.]

I'm sure it will.

[ He smiles after hearing Nanashi is somewhat nervous... It must be hard. Akira has never been nervous to talk to his parents, but he never wanted to bother them.

But he knows what it's like to be nervous to approach people, even when you rationalize it as not being a big deal. ]

Did you want to rehearse?

What, you mean like practice lines? Uh, sure.

[They can try it out.]

Are you gonna pretend to be Jouhei?

[ There is one flaw to this... ]

I don't know what Jouhei is like, but you can still pretend while I try my best.

Okay...okay so how's this. [Nanashi covers his face. This is going to be so embarrassing.]

Oh!! Would you look at that? I haven't seen you in ages!!! I wonder why???

[He tried??????]

Well, I gotta go now...!!! Bye!!!

[No.]

[ Akira is quiet with a slight scowl, stunned speechless. Very. Very. Dubious. ]

That covered nothing.

[ He’s being honest. Even Morrigan doesn’t look impressed. ]

[ He angrily puffs his cheeks up. ]

Fuck, you can't be serious. I'm not good at talking I don't even know what to say .........

[RIP.]

Maybe I'll stay quiet and see how he reacts first? Is that an option?

[ Nanashi. You said absolutely nothing. He could just let his friend handle it the way he wants.

He should be honest, seeing that Nanashi is slamming the flight button so fast. ]

... No. What if he's waiting for you to be comfortable and talk to him first?

[ Then it would go nowhere and it'll be worse. ]

We'll be silent forever.

[ ...Hm, yeah no. He's gotta make the first move. Akira's right. Nanashi can't be a wuss about this. ]

Fuck, I can't just show up and shout "hey?? what's going on?"" after going away for so long.

[ This is the worst. Nanashi sticks his tongue out in disgust at himself. ]

It'd be so awkward.

It would definitely be awkward.

[ And that's the timer going off. Akira puts on oven mitts as he pops the oven open to take out their long awaited baked salmon. It looks good and the herbs make it more than just aromatic. ]

Why don't we start with what you want him to understand?

[ Do that while he plates their food. ]

[ This is so hard. He's confronting an issue that he's been running away from for weeks. It's only normal that Nanashi doesn't know what to say or how to cope.

But he can't flee at the sight of Jouhei so he has to come up with something to say. ]

I need to apologize to him somehow, but for what? Seems like there's a long list of things I should be sorry for.

[That salmon smells good . He's distracting himself with food.]

[ Hmm... Akira knows it's difficult when you need a starting point, but after that it should come out like a waterfall. Nanashi only needs a push for that. Once the plates are ready, Akira places them on the kitchen dining table and motions Nanashi to come eat. The salmon is nicely baked with a small miso glaze, then there's garlic grilled asparagus on the side. ]

Then let's narrow it down to top five things you want to apologize for. Easy enough?

[ At least try. ]

Uh, no? [Nanashi scratches the back of his head with his hand. ]

Sorry for getting wasted? Running away from home? Getting killed??? Not replying to text messages??? That's already four things....

[It's too much. When he says it like that it sounds really bad too. ]

Do I really have to list them out this way?

[ Uhm... He's not even sure what to touch first? There are some concerning things coming out of this high schooler's mouth, especially the killed part. It makes the hair on his neck stand on end, finding it hard to even start eating any piece of their meal. ]

It's up to you... But maybe you should start with running away with home and not contacting him. Everything else can come after.

[ What the hell, Nanashi? ]

I'll do that then. [Nanashi folds his arms together and flops into his seat.]

Dunno what's wrong with me, bro. It's like everything that comes out of my mouth is garbage. Finding the right words is hard.

[He yawns while looking utterly exhausted.]

Maybe I'm thinking too much.

[ Akira can finally have a bite or two as he contemplates on this a little more. He understands not knowing what to say when it's important sometimes, especially with someone close. ]

You can keep rehearsing until you feel comfortable, but I'm sure he would be most comforted hearing it in your words. [ ... ] It's important to you.

[ Of course you're thinking a lot about it, dumbo. ]

It is. Jouhei's the only family I've got left in the city. I can't mess this one up, Akira.

[Nanashi frowns and he looks saddens by this.]

If I do then I've got no place to return to. He's a nice guy so I think he'll be able to understand my reasons. I just have to talk it through.

[talking is the hard part.]

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