Good, a part of him says, and Goro shoves that so far down it may as well be drowning. He can't touch Akira right now (it'd feel weird, the air is fragile and he's almost certain his boyfriend wants to bolt) but he can at least put out a more open expression of body language, unwinding himself and leaning back against his seat, hands between his legs. Head tilted back to watch the ceiling, wishing the planetary decorations were more real.]
No, I... It's just something that I've thought often about myself. If I could become like that person, given the same circumstances. How much this life differs from that. He'd certainly hate me, you know, loathe me as much as he had you and the others -- because I have everything he'd ever wanted, and it's not fair. I have my mother. I have friends. I don't have a past stained red.
[He pauses to collect himself, breathing out evenly, forcing himself to look up at Akira...'s shoulder, that's fine, shoulder is fine. Safe. There's guilt chewing at him, given that all he stated were facts and not feelings (a bad habit, Silver picked at it too), and it's with that out that he lays a hand on the table, palm up for Akira.]
Sorry. I'm very happy, I promise. Even with everything, this has to be the happiest point of my life ever. And I'm glad I get to share it with you.
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Good, a part of him says, and Goro shoves that so far down it may as well be drowning. He can't touch Akira right now (it'd feel weird, the air is fragile and he's almost certain his boyfriend wants to bolt) but he can at least put out a more open expression of body language, unwinding himself and leaning back against his seat, hands between his legs. Head tilted back to watch the ceiling, wishing the planetary decorations were more real.]
No, I... It's just something that I've thought often about myself. If I could become like that person, given the same circumstances. How much this life differs from that. He'd certainly hate me, you know, loathe me as much as he had you and the others -- because I have everything he'd ever wanted, and it's not fair. I have my mother. I have friends. I don't have a past stained red.
[He pauses to collect himself, breathing out evenly, forcing himself to look up at Akira...'s shoulder, that's fine, shoulder is fine. Safe. There's guilt chewing at him, given that all he stated were facts and not feelings (a bad habit, Silver picked at it too), and it's with that out that he lays a hand on the table, palm up for Akira.]
Sorry. I'm very happy, I promise. Even with everything, this has to be the happiest point of my life ever. And I'm glad I get to share it with you.