(RECOLLE) INBOX

[maskreant]

Hey, this is Akira Kurusu and I'm not available right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to it as soon as I can. ①

GOSSIP

P.THIEVES

MOCHI

Comments

( NYAAAA )

[maskreant]

splendid idea, dark lord.

i'll prepare the dungeon.

[ A JOKE. ]

[ascatic]

Do not worry, I will ask my min-ployees to assist you.

[ aren't employees already minions in a way??? ]

But...

Thank you for settling my nerves a little.

[maskreant]

thank you. you are so kind. i'll treat your minions well.

it's no problem. if you ever feel nervous or anxious, you should stop by the cat cafe.

[maskreant]

unless you're allergic, then stay away.

[ascatic]

I...

Perhaps I will try to take some medicine before visiting. That way, the symptoms will not be as severe.

[maskreant]

you sure?

i know allergy medicine has come a long way, but still.

[ascatic]

It is worth the sacrifice.

The temporary drowsiness and the heavy feeling on the body are tolerable.

After all, it is not all about the cats.

[maskreant]

i thought that was the point of a cat cafe?

cats.

and cafe-ing.

[ascatic]

The atmosphere is important as well. Liveliness, friendliness, an overall relaxing place to be...

But I suppose all I want to do is press my face into the stomach of a cat and find happiness for a brief moment.

[maskreant]

but, as you just proved, the draw is cats.

most of our cats are friendly enough to allow people to smush their faces into them, so you're in luck. though some of them are a bit mischievous. i'd be careful.

[ascatic]

I will be careful.

The chosen cat will come to me, I am sure, and will gracefully present its tummy to me for proper face-planting protocol.

I think.

[maskreant]

i'm sure it'll happen as long as you're worthy.

you don't own any pets?

[ascatic]

No. No pets.

Maybe some day, I could have one of my own. But for now, my business is my pet. It needs the same attention and nurturing.

The future may hold something different.

[maskreant]

if you ever decide to, i don't mind helping you picking out the promised crab.

my boss' keeper made me help her adopt her dogs, too. i might as well offer my services to all, right?

[ yes. crabs. ]

[ascatic]

[ squint. crabs. ]

I see... well, I will trust your judgement as being better than my own in this case.

And your services will be helpful.

I am fortunate to have them both.

[maskreant]

[ His friend owns crabs? ]

hypoallergenic cats do exist and they're obviously as lovable. of course comes with a price.

i'm only here to help, Mr. Aksera.

[ascatic]

[ like, normal crabs? or hermit crabs??? or like, crab people. ]

There is a price?

And I am glad you are! You are extremely helpful. I may spend three eternities trying to pay you back in full.

[maskreant]

usually hypoallergenic stuff costs more, doesn't it? kind of like healthy food that actually tastes good.

it's like you made a deal with the devil.

[ascatic]

... I suppose that is something I could do as a business expense.

Only fools make deals with devils, unless they are deals that benefit anyone but the devils themselves.