[Sorry?? He compartmentalizes a lot of the worse ones, so it's just sort of... there. He can look at them without feeling much. Generally.]
I'll do my best to pass, then... Let's see.
[Now he's bringing nails into this, sort of scratching Akira's head like you would a cat's.]
There was a stray dog that I befriended, once. I shared my leftovers with her every day until she'd wait for me at the gate, obedient as could be. So she wasn't really my dog, but she was important to me. And then, after summer break...
[Goro trails off, smile waning.]
I stopped seeing her around. I waited for her every day, since she would walk me home, but... nothing. I was devastated. Maybe she'd simply gotten tired of waiting in the heat. Maybe she thought I wasn't coming around anymore. So I reluctantly put it to the back of my mind and continued as I had before.
Soon after, there were complaints about a terrible, rotting smell coming from an alley near the school. It was disturbing the children, they said. It was harmful to public health. Things like that. But no one could find the source of the stench, and I wasn't particularly interested in finding it either. It was gross and none of my business.
[He's quiet for a moment, hand slowly coming to a stop.]
I was given a... helpful tip, you could say, by way of some writing on my desk. It didn't seem unusual at first, given that it was just the writing I'd gotten used to washing off every morning, but... when I followed the directions that afternoon, under the blistering sun, the stench so horrible I could barely stand it, I found my friend. There was, ah, no... no way I could identify who'd done it, of course, and she was just a stray, so it wasn't like she truly mattered to anyone but me...
[A lump lodges itself in his throat and he swallows, glancing off. This isn't even anything he's told his mom, honestly? Akira's probably the first person -- no, definitely the first person to ever hear this, and Goro shrinks back with a soft laugh, trying to hide his sudden vulnerability. As if Alerted, Belle's clambering over Akira with a series of chirrups to press herself onto Goro, settling once he starts to pet her.]
Sorry. That was a little overachieving of me, wasn't it.
[ He's about to speak up before Belle just walks over him like he's trash and takes his rightful place beside his boyfriend. Mouth closing to a tight thin line, there's an expression of sympathy. If that happened to Morrigan, he wouldn't know how he would fee—yet... He knows very well he was a lot different than Goro at that age, even more drastically different than who he is now.
Still, it doesn't change the gruesome tale laid before him. There are some heavy implications here that concerns Akira, but the matter at hand is Goro lost someone dear to him... He huddles closer, trying to get his own piece of Goro despite Belle blocking his way. That's fine. He's close enough. It's fine. The comforts of a sweet cat cannot be easily surpassed. ]
No, don't apologize. [ He speaks with a soft, calm voice. ] Thank you for telling me...
[ Hand wandering, he fishes for at least one finger to hook onto his. ]
[Goro grants his hand to hold, face buried into Belle's short fur as she curls up in front of him. Gold slips out quietly.]
I haven't thought about her in years. Some friend I am, huh. I don't remember her name either.
[A short laugh, squeezing Akira's hand gently.]
I think that was when... I learned the world could truly be a cruel place. [That if you couldn't ptotect it, then you shouldn't have it, but that applies less now. His voice grows softer.] You're the only one I've ever told this to. Sor-- mm.
[ Yes, good, hold his hand. Akira plays with his hand before interlacing their fingers, squeezing in turn. ]
It is, but you can change it now.
[ And that's the truth. While he would say some comforting words, it's in the past... And there's a cat in the way, so he must settle in hand-holding. ]
Are you okay?
[ He takes this chance to huddle closer, closing the distance between them and burying into Goro's hair. ]
[... He can change that now. It's what he wants to do, after all, make the world a better place, and he smiles a bit.]
Of course. It's in the past, after all.
[And he's... over? That sort of thing, probably? Goro's thumb rubs idly against Akira's hand, thinking back to the sorts of things he's dreamed -- relating to his present life, not the life he'd lived once -- and hums quietly.
Maybe not so over them. The unpleasant dreams are ones he's used to for a reason, mundane as they are. He ducks down more into Belle, feeling oddly claustrophobic, and closes his eyes to focus on the purr vibrating against him.]
What's yours? I'd like it if you refrained from topping me, though.
[ Sorry, Akira is going to suffocate him in warmth. He does back up a bit when he thinks he may be crushing him. While he did bring this little exercise up, he's heavily wracking his brain for something to share. Most painful? Saddest? He didn't have a nice childhood and he does see that he had been robbed of many things, but...
He's drawing blanks. Even some of the events that impacted his life hold nothing to him. He can't remember if he felt anything when they happened. ]
I can't think of anything. [ It's honest. ] After some point, I stopped caring...
[ So nothing was sad and nothing hurt. He lived his life as he wanted and, in a way, it was freeing, but he was always alone. ]
[At some point, he stopped caring. A pretty empty life. Goro stares at him almost in the same way Akira tends to stare, curious and concerned; after a moment he'll look away, never sure what to say at times like these and frustrated that even now-- no, especially with someone important to him.]
That sounds terrifying, honestly.
[Well, that's not comforting in the least. Nnnnnnnnn.]
That's... probably not something you want to hear, is it. But it does, and I hope things are different now. Even sad things have their place in our lives. Even if they suck.
[my god he is terrible at this. this in particular. the comfort thing.]
[ Akira blinks once, twice, and realizes that Goro really sucks at this. It takes him a moment to let those words sink in before he sputters into his free hand, chuckling a bit before having a complete fit.
He has to turn over to hide it, but it isn't working with how his shoulders shake in mirth. ]
[... Yes, yes, he knows, he sucks at words. Even if he knows it, he still turns away in embarrassment and slight irritation, shoulders hunching and face burning.]
I know I suck at this, but I tried. I don't usually.
[He's better at distracting? Actually having the heart to heart comfort is like. Reserved for special people. The people he actually wants to try for, like Silver and Liz. Like Sena. Like Akira, who is laughing at his pitiful attempt. It's... something, he supposes.]
[ Wow, they were face to face, but it turned to back to back so quickly. Akira doesn't seem to mind and doesn't feel the intimacy has lessened at all. He quells the little snickers stuck in his throat, merely looking at the side of the blanket fort as he collects his thoughts. ]
It's all right.
[ Sometimes words are enough and sometimes action is better, but he can appreciate what they have now. He turns over to rest his head against Goro's back, closing his eyes with a smile on his face. ]
[... Oh. That's simple, and Goro turns his head back a little shyly.]
You're low maintance, aren't you. [Observational.
Still not the right thing to say.] And you're certain of that? You wouldn't want someone better at words? For all my eloquence, I know I'm quite lacking.
[ Akira never pinned Goro for one to be exceptionally good at it. It's hard for anyone unless they're trained and went to school for it, he thinks. ]
You can have a silver tongue and still suck, but that's not the point. [ Snickers. ] I'm sure.
[ On both questions, two birds with one stone. He slips a hand under and over so he can wrap his arms around Goro's waist, pulling him closer as he nests comfortably. ]
Miss Velveteen and Silver'll make fun of me if we do.
[But it's not a no, smile coming out naturally at Akira's cuddling, and Goro tilts his head over to nuzzle his boyfriend slightly. Relaxing now that he's been reassured despite his clear inadequacy.]
I don't mind that, though. The comfort you bring me far exceeds any embarrassment their teasing could cause. The only other person I've slept with was Silver, and that was his fault. May I ask you a question of my own, though?
[ Akira's brow furrows for a second when Goro admits to sleeping with Silver only because it's strange to mention...? Or admit? Is that a normal thing, he isn't sure. Maybe he'll have to ask his friends if friends sleep together.
Well, that isn't the point. Nothing to worry about. ]
Just for that day, I'll protect you from their taunts. How does that sound? [ SOUNDS GREAT HAVING A WHITE KNIGHT, RIGHT? ] Yeah, go for it.
[ if this question destroys him he won't be protecting you. ]
[ He falls silent as he feels the butterflies spawning in his stomach. No. No. This is a relatively easy question. It's a question that can be answered in one single sentence. It's so easy because Akira has thought about it countless of times.
BREATHE. He needs to breathe. ]
Why are you putting me on the spot? [ He's low key livid. ] It's... hard to really pick one, but... [ UH. ] It's really nice seeing my friends smile whenever.
[How quaint, how cute. Also, you put him on the spot first?? How dare.]
I think that's very sweet. As for me...
[Quiet time for him, too. He hums softly, smiling fondly at the memories that freely bubble up. There's a lot to choose from.]
The picnic we had, maybe. Even with odd experiences in the museum we snuck into. I really loved eating the food you made, catching fireflies, going to the planetarium... The entire day was special to me then, and it still is. That's sappy, isn't it.
[but he is shameless as usual when it comes to this.]
[ He gave Goro enough time to think about it? He went first for the exercise...?! That's not being put on the spot anymore. ]
I would be lying if I said it isn't sappy.
[ But it still sparks something in his chest, something fluffy and warm as he thinks back to their weird date. Planetarium, haunted museum scouting, and then a picnic catching the late fireflies?
On top of that— ]
The weird thought bubbles were then, right? That's the same day where I thought you were as cute as a puppy. [ Still as cute as a puppy. ] I was worried you would see my other thoughts that day, so I was running as many topics in my mind as possible. All the time. It didn't even work.
That whole month, I did my very best not to invade people's privacy, yet when it came to you... I thought that I might understand you more if I could see your thoughts, but that ended up not being true at all.
[A fond chuckle, turning around and minding Belle as he leans up to nuzzle Akira.]
What other thoughts did you have? I was doing the same, mind, for a variety of reasons.
[ ... Oh, no. He knows that people think he's weird. He knows that he is actually weird, but he has never actually divulged the full intensity of his random thoughts onto someone yet?
But then a thought comes up: what if I'm actually normal and people have the same thoughts? However, there's still a need for a benchmark... ]
[... Do they. Hmmmm. Goro's quiet in return, contemplative of the strange, but intriguing, question.]
I suppose not, but wearing socks has many benefits. One risks fungal infections and blistering if they don't, as well as other health issues such as broken nails and the like. They also offer a nice way to show off your tastes in fashion, your interests in games and show, and keep your legs warm if high enough.
[ To be honest, he was ready for this long-winded reply from Goro. Who would he be if he didn’t do this? It’s one of the small things Akira likes about him, but that doesn’t mean he’s spared from this dead look. ]
Who’s going to look at your socks and think “wow, he’s a stylish guy”?
Please. You've never looked at someone and told them you liked their socks?
[He's glad that Akira doesn't mind his serious replies, though. There's been a fair amount of people in his life who've thought him a little off for thinking so much on the strangest questions.]
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I'll do my best to pass, then... Let's see.
[Now he's bringing nails into this, sort of scratching Akira's head like you would a cat's.]
There was a stray dog that I befriended, once. I shared my leftovers with her every day until she'd wait for me at the gate, obedient as could be. So she wasn't really my dog, but she was important to me. And then, after summer break...
[Goro trails off, smile waning.]
I stopped seeing her around. I waited for her every day, since she would walk me home, but... nothing. I was devastated. Maybe she'd simply gotten tired of waiting in the heat. Maybe she thought I wasn't coming around anymore. So I reluctantly put it to the back of my mind and continued as I had before.
Soon after, there were complaints about a terrible, rotting smell coming from an alley near the school. It was disturbing the children, they said. It was harmful to public health. Things like that. But no one could find the source of the stench, and I wasn't particularly interested in finding it either. It was gross and none of my business.
[He's quiet for a moment, hand slowly coming to a stop.]
I was given a... helpful tip, you could say, by way of some writing on my desk. It didn't seem unusual at first, given that it was just the writing I'd gotten used to washing off every morning, but... when I followed the directions that afternoon, under the blistering sun, the stench so horrible I could barely stand it, I found my friend. There was, ah, no... no way I could identify who'd done it, of course, and she was just a stray, so it wasn't like she truly mattered to anyone but me...
[A lump lodges itself in his throat and he swallows, glancing off. This isn't even anything he's told his mom, honestly? Akira's probably the first person -- no, definitely the first person to ever hear this, and Goro shrinks back with a soft laugh, trying to hide his sudden vulnerability. As if Alerted, Belle's clambering over Akira with a series of chirrups to press herself onto Goro, settling once he starts to pet her.]
Sorry. That was a little overachieving of me, wasn't it.
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Still, it doesn't change the gruesome tale laid before him. There are some heavy implications here that concerns Akira, but the matter at hand is Goro lost someone dear to him... He huddles closer, trying to get his own piece of Goro despite Belle blocking his way. That's fine. He's close enough. It's fine. The comforts of a sweet cat cannot be easily surpassed. ]
No, don't apologize. [ He speaks with a soft, calm voice. ] Thank you for telling me...
[ Hand wandering, he fishes for at least one finger to hook onto his. ]
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I haven't thought about her in years. Some friend I am, huh. I don't remember her name either.
[A short laugh, squeezing Akira's hand gently.]
I think that was when... I learned the world could truly be a cruel place. [That if you couldn't ptotect it, then you shouldn't have it, but that applies less now. His voice grows softer.] You're the only one I've ever told this to. Sor-- mm.
[Don't apologize, he'd said.]
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It is, but you can change it now.
[ And that's the truth. While he would say some comforting words, it's in the past... And there's a cat in the way, so he must settle in hand-holding. ]
Are you okay?
[ He takes this chance to huddle closer, closing the distance between them and burying into Goro's hair. ]
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Of course. It's in the past, after all.
[And he's... over? That sort of thing, probably? Goro's thumb rubs idly against Akira's hand, thinking back to the sorts of things he's dreamed -- relating to his present life, not the life he'd lived once -- and hums quietly.
Maybe not so over them. The unpleasant dreams are ones he's used to for a reason, mundane as they are. He ducks down more into Belle, feeling oddly claustrophobic, and closes his eyes to focus on the purr vibrating against him.]
What's yours? I'd like it if you refrained from topping me, though.
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He's drawing blanks. Even some of the events that impacted his life hold nothing to him. He can't remember if he felt anything when they happened. ]
I can't think of anything. [ It's honest. ] After some point, I stopped caring...
[ So nothing was sad and nothing hurt. He lived his life as he wanted and, in a way, it was freeing, but he was always alone. ]
It was a pretty empty life.
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That sounds terrifying, honestly.
[Well, that's not comforting in the least. Nnnnnnnnn.]
That's... probably not something you want to hear, is it. But it does, and I hope things are different now. Even sad things have their place in our lives. Even if they suck.
[my god he is terrible at this. this in particular. the comfort thing.]
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He has to turn over to hide it, but it isn't working with how his shoulders shake in mirth. ]
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I know I suck at this, but I tried. I don't usually.
[He's better at distracting? Actually having the heart to heart comfort is like. Reserved for special people. The people he actually wants to try for, like Silver and Liz. Like Sena. Like Akira, who is laughing at his pitiful attempt. It's... something, he supposes.]
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It's all right.
[ Sometimes words are enough and sometimes action is better, but he can appreciate what they have now. He turns over to rest his head against Goro's back, closing his eyes with a smile on his face. ]
I just need you by my side. Thank you.
[ And that's more than he can ask for. ]
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You're low maintance, aren't you. [Observational.
Still not the right thing to say.] And you're certain of that? You wouldn't want someone better at words? For all my eloquence, I know I'm quite lacking.
[He's just curious on that second question.]
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You can have a silver tongue and still suck, but that's not the point. [ Snickers. ] I'm sure.
[ On both questions, two birds with one stone. He slips a hand under and over so he can wrap his arms around Goro's waist, pulling him closer as he nests comfortably. ]
Should we just sleep here?
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[But it's not a no, smile coming out naturally at Akira's cuddling, and Goro tilts his head over to nuzzle his boyfriend slightly. Relaxing now that he's been reassured despite his clear inadequacy.]
I don't mind that, though. The comfort you bring me far exceeds any embarrassment their teasing could cause. The only other person I've slept with was Silver, and that was his fault. May I ask you a question of my own, though?
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Well, that isn't the point. Nothing to worry about. ]
Just for that day, I'll protect you from their taunts. How does that sound? [ SOUNDS GREAT HAVING A WHITE KNIGHT, RIGHT? ] Yeah, go for it.
[ if this question destroys him he won't be protecting you. ]
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[The present Akira's.]
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BREATHE. He needs to breathe. ]
Why are you putting me on the spot? [ He's low key livid. ] It's... hard to really pick one, but... [ UH. ] It's really nice seeing my friends smile whenever.
[ He's weak. Goro is also included in friends. ]
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[How quaint, how cute. Also, you put him on the spot first?? How dare.]
I think that's very sweet. As for me...
[Quiet time for him, too. He hums softly, smiling fondly at the memories that freely bubble up. There's a lot to choose from.]
The picnic we had, maybe. Even with odd experiences in the museum we snuck into. I really loved eating the food you made, catching fireflies, going to the planetarium... The entire day was special to me then, and it still is. That's sappy, isn't it.
[but he is shameless as usual when it comes to this.]
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I would be lying if I said it isn't sappy.
[ But it still sparks something in his chest, something fluffy and warm as he thinks back to their weird date. Planetarium, haunted museum scouting, and then a picnic catching the late fireflies?
On top of that— ]
The weird thought bubbles were then, right? That's the same day where I thought you were as cute as a puppy. [ Still as cute as a puppy. ] I was worried you would see my other thoughts that day, so I was running as many topics in my mind as possible. All the time. It didn't even work.
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[A fond chuckle, turning around and minding Belle as he leans up to nuzzle Akira.]
What other thoughts did you have? I was doing the same, mind, for a variety of reasons.
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But then a thought comes up: what if I'm actually normal and people have the same thoughts? However, there's still a need for a benchmark... ]
Serious or not serious thoughts?
[ This is important! ]
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[He just wants to know what Akira's thinking. All of his boyfriend's thoughts are important to him.]
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Do we really need to wear socks?
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I suppose not, but wearing socks has many benefits. One risks fungal infections and blistering if they don't, as well as other health issues such as broken nails and the like. They also offer a nice way to show off your tastes in fashion, your interests in games and show, and keep your legs warm if high enough.
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Who’s going to look at your socks and think “wow, he’s a stylish guy”?
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[He's glad that Akira doesn't mind his serious replies, though. There's been a fair amount of people in his life who've thought him a little off for thinking so much on the strangest questions.]
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