[ He's sorry for a lot of things. It's only a hunch, but Akira now mulls over how he wants to get along with Goro and how those memories don't dictate their future. The bright laugh does throw him off, but its slightly empty yet awfully jubilant tone reminds him what he did was harsh and uncalled for. Goro had little to do with his problems— ]
It would have been nice if you liked me.
[ It's an afterthought he blurts out, sincere as can be. He's easing back into reality, getting a hold of himself, and indefinitely realizing how he has made a mess of their night out. He gives Goro an apologetic smile; whether or not the crush exists doesn't excuse his behavior at all. Rubbing his neck nervously, he wonders how he should convey his remorse. ]
[It's a quiet confession, apparently thoughtless considering Goro covers his mouth. He shakes his head, hesitating a moment before taking Akira's wrist.
They need to sit down for this, because his legs feel like they're gonna buckle. Not how he thought this would play out... but It would have been nice if you liked me is too tempting not to follow up on, Akira's sincere regret assuring him that there's no need to act out that way.]
I, um. I do like you. I suppose a blind person would be able to tell, I'm... not very subtle about my thoughts on others, never have been. [Goro cracks a small smile.] It's half the reason I got in trouble when I was younger.
[You know. Bright and pompous kid, one-upping others, not being the most popular because of it. He's feeling weird about treating Akira the same, idly rubbing the wrist he hasn't let go of yet.]
Do you... I mean, were you just joking when you answered like that? [As mean as it was, Goro can't help but feel a little hopeful.] You can, um, make it up to me be being honest. Do you like me?
[... and hopefully this risk won't make him feel utter regret. They need to bike home, after all.]
Ah, but please don't feel pressured to reply in kind, that's not my aim.
[ That question comes with a simple answer. It took a little more out of him, but he sees no reason to lie. Of course his feelings for Goro don't go as far as butterflies churning in his stomach and his heartbeat racing every time they meet, but he's learned that he does like him a lot. Enough. He's half sure this is also an act of defiance against their possible fate, wanting to fight it and go against the grain... so it's selfish in itself. If maybe these memories didn't manifest, he wonders how this night would turn out.
Quietly, Akira staggers after him, led along by his wrist until they settle on the cold white sand edging the waves by a safe distance. He blankly stares, silent and pensive as he's at a mental crossroad. He knows he needs to resolve his issues and not create walls, but he's not sure how he should deal with this situation. Even if the sound of the ocean fills in the silence, it's awfully awkward. ]
I know you can do better, but you're stuck with me for now.
[ It's fine. He's fine. Just bury the doubts and fear. Everything will be fine. ]
[Even if Goro's is the heart-pounding kind, the butterflies have vacated him at the moment, leaving a kind of lightness in their wake; it ebbs away like the seat against the shore as he lets the quiet linger, wondering what now. Wasn't as if he'd had the courage to speak up about his feelings to anyone before, content with knowing he didn't have much of a chance until lately and simply tucking them away.
When Akira breaks it again to say that, Goro frowns lightly and tilts his head.]
I think it's up to me to decide who's best for me, Akira. [Gently chiding. Don't turn this into one of those romance movie scenes.] And even if you don't think you are, even if you may not be the best in all the world -- you are lacking that financial security I mentioned -- I still like you regardless. I'm certainly not stuck with you.
[... Because he could just not try, he could just be fine with sticking from afar, keep to the niceness of their customer-employee relationship, but Akira is someone he likes spending time with, for some reason shares the same visions or memories or whatever they are as him, and... though Goro isn't sure if they ever meet again after that, if it's not just some coincidence and the like, here, in this city, he has Akira's company and that's enough.]
And... even if I was, I don't see it as a necessarily bad thing. We're friends, after all. I'm happy to be.
[Because he doesn't have very many, actually, but he doesn't want to say that. Not because it's pathetic or unbelievable but-- it's just not something he wants to say, even if he probably should confront that particular bit of himself at some point.]
[ Even if this was a romance movie, they have the comfort that this isn't Dusk. As detached as he would like to be from the conversation to keep composure, dread still rises with each second. Maybe they should head back? Should he crack a joke? Lighten the mood... This itching anxiety nips at him constantly, at least until Goro starts chastising him. It at first slightly irritates him, so his expression visibly twists with knitted eyebrows and gritted teeth for a second, but falls into a soft smile when he realizes how comfortable that made him feel. ]
I wasn't ready for a lecture, gold digger.
[ Letting out a shaky sigh, he lets his shoulders drop as if all the weight has been lifted. Unlike Goro, Akira has no qualms with his lack of friends. It doesn't bother him, so he can mention it as a matter of fact: ]
I actually don't have many friends, so that means a lot... Thanks.
[ It's weird to not feel disappointment. Life really is changing. ]
[That's surprising, he'd like to say, but... they could be similar like that, he supposes. After all, Goro knows he's quite popular, or that he was at least surrounded by people in high school, but friends is a different term all together. They're more like friendly faces.
He glances aside at Akira, bumping their shoulders together with a sincere smile.]
Well, quality is more important than quantity in my opinion! And you have a rather acceptable friend with you right now, if I may say so. Even if I text you useless trivia and keep you up far later than you should be at night.
[Akira doesn't seem to mind it, but maybe it just hasn't become annoying.]
[ Goro shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore... Though it may be Akira's own view of his life. Either way, he bumps their shoulders a little more forcibly in return, but he only looks ahead.
How. Cheeky. There's a dead look for a second, wry smile showing, as Goro preen himself whether bravado or not. Something about it makes him want to crush his pride, but he digresses. Be nice. Goro is a good boy. A cute boy. This is one of his charms. ]
The trivia will be handy one day. Just wait. [ He'll be a jeopardy king. ] Also, I don't think that statement is accurate since I had a hand in the late night excursions.
[The question of the evening. He turns his face back to the ocean, smile faltering as he watches the waves again. Back and forth, inhale and exhale. Surely it can't be any... no, it can always get worse. He'll tiptoe lightly.]
I could ask you the same thing, Akira. [With the tone of wanting to hear those reasons.] But it's just... vision stuff. It'd seem things haven't been going very well for our favored side.
[The Phantom Thieves. Goro draws different shapes in the sand idly, letting the coolness be his grounding.]
That's a bit of an understatement, really, things have been going terribly for them. One minute they're beloved heroes, public enemy number one the next. Fortunate for the detective on the case. [Even if he hadn't felt all that happy? More... tired.]
[ It might as well be, but he says this in that mocking whining tone, downplaying how serious it actually was. He joins in on sand art, though mostly adding details to Goro's shapes. This one? It has turned into a pizza. With wings. ]
Public enemy number one... [ Mm. ] I have nothing on the Phantom Thieves, actually.
[ He sounds a little crestfallen at first, but shrugs it off. The only certain thing he knows for sure is that his other self is his sense of justice is in the right place. Why would the crowd be cheering for them if they were really the enemy? ...He's only more confused. Tugging on his bangs again, he wishes wholeheartedly to receive any memory on the Phantom Thieves' internal operations. Trading what he recently received is a no brainer. ]
[Goro half-snorts lightly at the whining tone, tucking a brief smile away. Pizza with wings... Then, this next one's a square, do something fun with that.]
I don't know exactly what happened, but... they're being called murderers. I wonder if one of their "changes of heart" went wrong?
[A pause. He shakes his head, sighing.]
Or maybe the other me was right all along and they really are dangerous. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely," as I was reminded earlier by Miss Velveteen. [It's clear he doesn't like the idea, though.] Though I... suppose that's settled now, considering what happened to their leader.
[... This is the part that gives him more grief, honestly, he's fucking Confused about the murderer part but. There's a reason he's got insomnia tonight and it's got a clickbait title.]
[ He draws an apple on it. Look. It's a Macbook Pro.
He listens intently though his eyes are on the sand art, but he's instantly overwhelmed by a vision. It looks like an amusement park similar to Disneyland and the Phantom Thieves have it to themselves? He's not sure why, but it looks fun... Yet their expressions don't convey mirth and happiness. They're shocked, in total peril that this may be their mistake.
Tugging on his bangs, he's trying to wrap his mind around it. Some pieces of the memory are missing, but it's evident they had good intentions. It reassures him, but the mystery continues—how do they "change the hearts" of individuals? What went wrong? ]
... We just need to have faith and stay loyal.
[ He says that because he knows, but also to support Goro, knowing fully well that he wants to be on their side in comparison to the other version of him. Idly, he starts drawing something else on the sand... It's a car with cat ears? It instinctively comes to mind when he hears "leader" since Akira thinks Morgana, the weird cat, is the true driver of the Phantom Thieves. While a little bossy, he finds the creature charming, so he's concerned about what might have happened to him. ]
Do I really want to know? [ Who can really say no to a murder clickbait? Not Akira. ] Spill.
[Oh, kind of like from that movie... Goro stares at it for a moment, the comforting words more like a chilly wind despite the summer's warmth. He hesitates, then carefully leans against Akira, ready to move away if it's the least bit unwelcome. It's just something grounding he needs, considering what came with the news.]
He was captured.
[Bile burns in his throat at the apparent passion the other him had at hunting down the other thieves, casting them as much of criminals as anyone else; I don't care if they come after me, so boldly declared, for the victims of their evil deeds, and for their families--]
And died in custody, it'd seem, by his own hand. [What was that person like? Was he really so prideful as the other him thought, to rather die than be dishonored by capture?] It caused quite a stir, though... the other me seemed level-headed.
[A little dizzy, a little caught up in his own world, something like that. Undesired, wanting only to be needed and relied on, did all he could to achieve that-- and was given some... sort of gift from the gods, though Goro doesn't quite understand that part of the vision at all.
... Just how did he dispose of those in his way?]
I suppose that's what experience in the fields gets you, [though he's oddly quiet and distant.] Though I don't know how I feel about him. Me.
[ The cat was captured? And killed himself? He can't imagine a weird black and white creature being captured and committing suicide. Something doesn't add up.
Akira looks dubious, slightly alarmed at the memory that might come (fortunately, he's spared)—until he feels the weight against him. Shifting a bit, he looks over to him for one moment only to catch that vulnerable expression then instinctive averts his gaze. While what's said doesn't instantly alert him of turmoil, it reeks in the tone, the gestures, and definitely the last line. He can guess there's more behind all of this, but he chooses not to press.
Their other selves led a different life, ones where their past and ambitions glistened brightly. He can only wonder what Goro saw, if it painted a different picture of his other self... And if he wants to tell him, then only in time.
Quietly, he leans against him in return, as if saying it's all right. ]
You are not him. Don't forget that.
[ The end of the Phantom Thieves, the shady suicide, Goro's rising popularity in this past life whatever it is, his experience in the field—none of it matters right now. ]
[He almost -- almost -- jerks away in surprise of the returned weight, but manages not to; these words are more of a comfort, paired with Akira's warmth and weight, and he closes his eyes with a soft sigh.]
And to think I was jealous of him once upon a time.
[God, no, not anymore. He shakes his head.]
Thank you. [...] So what sort of visions have you been getting? I do hope they're more pleasant than my own.
I'm just telling the truth. [ You're welcome, anyway! ] Maybe he would be jealous of you instead. What a twist.
[ He doesn't pull away even when the ugly truth rears its head. Goro may have it better from what it sounds like, there's nothing envious of this other self, but... Akira finds this other version of himself admirable in many ways. Even if "ruin" is in their future, that person continues on with their struggle to change society. They have purpose, they have a place to belong, they have friends to rely on—how can he not be jealous of that?
It used to stir such bitter feelings about himself, but he remembers Silver's words, how he'll most definitely become cooler than his 10 year-old self. For that moment, Akira wonders if he will become better than this Phantom Thief taking the country by night, even just a little bit. Shifting in place, he rests his head on Goro's shoulder in deep contemplation. ]
Just some weird dreams my other self had. Apparently, he was in a jail cell? In someone's "velvet room". There were two little girls as wardens that were patronizing him, and the master had a huge nose kind of like a crow's beak. The master also said my other self was the "trickster" and he had to go through "rehabilitation".
[ He shares this only because he has no idea how it connects to any of his other memories. Of course "ruin" is obvious and is strategically kept away. Closing his eyes, he pulls up the memory again. Igor makes a seriously creepy dungeon master. ]
You think you're weird? [...] Perhaps it's telling of myself that I don't consider you particularly odd.
[He's weird too, after all. Liz is weird. Silver can be kind of startling too, Ann is a little awkward at times, the vast majority of the people he's met on Retrospec's network are strange -- some more than others -- but to Goro, at least, Akira isn't weird.]
Those are odd dreams, though dreams themselves are always odd... Have you tries looking them up in a dream dictionary?
[... because goro absolutely indulges in that, why wouldn't he, they're fun and mean about as much to one's psyche as freud]
[ Akira lifts his head off of Goro's shoulder and elbows him on the side. In a way it's comforting, but makes light of his old mentality. It's... nice, even though he has long forgotten and abandoned that insecurity.
It's true. There are a lot weirder personalities in Retrospec. Bless. ]
That's because you're also weird, Go-ro.
[ A dream dictionary? Akira is sure it's a dream, but it also felt so real. At that moment, he remembers something changing in him, like he made a bond with the residents of the Velvet Room.
... ]
For some reason, I feel like this is a trap to get me to read up on how I'm a deviant or something.
[He snorts at the tease, returning the elbowing and moving his weight off of Akira. The guy'd heard his #salt about Dusk, it... doesn't bother him as much as it would coming from someone else (because he trusts Akira not to be mean, he seemed like he got that bit out earlier).]
Are you a deviant? Is it dangerous for me to be alone with you?
[ Being weird isn't bad, Goro!! Akira has stuck with him from Dusk till dawn, staking out playgrounds under the Midnight Sun. He obviously likes oddballs and weirdos alike. A deviant, however, is a strong word. ]
Am I? [ He strokes his chin, looking up at the moon in Deep Thought. Is this existential crisis or enlightenment? ] What do you think?
[ Goro gets to decide his fate in one single answer. ]
[Oh, god, that's getting an immediate if small shiver, and Goro's face is certainly lightly pink. He really likes that mischievous look a little too much; it kind of inspires something in him right back and his smile curls more, narrowing his eyes lightly as he trails a finger down Akira's jaw.
God, hopefully he doesn't get in over his head here.]
Deviant is a little too far for either of us, but it's not as if I'm without temptation. If there was ever a place... ever a time to try something new... then right now wouldn't be too bad, would it?
[... so much for not getting ahead of himself. he's gonna wanna die in a few.]
[ Goro really has no idea what he's in for... An eyebrows twitches as he watches this display. Color Akira surprised because he thought the other boy would instantly jerk back and make a fool of himself.
One one hand, Akira does not want to lose at this small little game... On the other hand, he knows Goro is going to die. They might be awkward for weeks to come, but that's not his fault, right? (it is definitely his fault) Closing his eyes, he merely looks pleased from the touch. ]
I can't answer that for you. [ But he takes that hand and brings it close, brushing his lips against the knuckles. ] What's on your mind right now?
[ His voice dips as those words ghost over Goro's fingers. Akira is definitely trying to push him to the edge, make him surrender and admit to defeat. This is definitely a trap. Who will crack first? ]
[Ah. Well, it was nice while it lasted, his short lived inspiration; despite his embarrassment he can't find it in him to move, transfixed by his crush and the lips searing his skin.]
... Something I shouldn't ask you for. [His throat's dry, but he still speaks, curling his fingers tighter against Akira's with a hard swallow.] It's not racy or risque, nothing like that, but I still shouldn't.
[It'd definitely make things weird, as nice as it'd be in the moment. Or maybe it wouldn't be nice.]
[ At first he thought he's ready for whatever counter Goro had for that, steeling himself properly for all the hurdles he must jump. Blinking once, twice, he ends up cracking with a sputter and a laugh. There's an attempt to stifle it with a hand for cover, but its way too obvious now. Pulling back, he releases Goro's captive hand. You are free. ]
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[ He's sorry for a lot of things. It's only a hunch, but Akira now mulls over how he wants to get along with Goro and how those memories don't dictate their future. The bright laugh does throw him off, but its slightly empty yet awfully jubilant tone reminds him what he did was harsh and uncalled for. Goro had little to do with his problems— ]
It would have been nice if you liked me.
[ It's an afterthought he blurts out, sincere as can be. He's easing back into reality, getting a hold of himself, and indefinitely realizing how he has made a mess of their night out. He gives Goro an apologetic smile; whether or not the crush exists doesn't excuse his behavior at all. Rubbing his neck nervously, he wonders how he should convey his remorse. ]
I'll make it up to you. Anything. You name it.
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[It's a quiet confession, apparently thoughtless considering Goro covers his mouth. He shakes his head, hesitating a moment before taking Akira's wrist.
They need to sit down for this, because his legs feel like they're gonna buckle. Not how he thought this would play out... but It would have been nice if you liked me is too tempting not to follow up on, Akira's sincere regret assuring him that there's no need to act out that way.]
I, um. I do like you. I suppose a blind person would be able to tell, I'm... not very subtle about my thoughts on others, never have been. [Goro cracks a small smile.] It's half the reason I got in trouble when I was younger.
[You know. Bright and pompous kid, one-upping others, not being the most popular because of it. He's feeling weird about treating Akira the same, idly rubbing the wrist he hasn't let go of yet.]
Do you... I mean, were you just joking when you answered like that? [As mean as it was, Goro can't help but feel a little hopeful.] You can, um, make it up to me be being honest. Do you like me?
[... and hopefully this risk won't make him feel utter regret. They need to bike home, after all.]
Ah, but please don't feel pressured to reply in kind, that's not my aim.
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[ That question comes with a simple answer. It took a little more out of him, but he sees no reason to lie. Of course his feelings for Goro don't go as far as butterflies churning in his stomach and his heartbeat racing every time they meet, but he's learned that he does like him a lot. Enough. He's half sure this is also an act of defiance against their possible fate, wanting to fight it and go against the grain... so it's selfish in itself. If maybe these memories didn't manifest, he wonders how this night would turn out.
Quietly, Akira staggers after him, led along by his wrist until they settle on the cold white sand edging the waves by a safe distance. He blankly stares, silent and pensive as he's at a mental crossroad. He knows he needs to resolve his issues and not create walls, but he's not sure how he should deal with this situation. Even if the sound of the ocean fills in the silence, it's awfully awkward. ]
I know you can do better, but you're stuck with me for now.
[ It's fine. He's fine. Just bury the doubts and fear. Everything will be fine. ]
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When Akira breaks it again to say that, Goro frowns lightly and tilts his head.]
I think it's up to me to decide who's best for me, Akira. [Gently chiding. Don't turn this into one of those romance movie scenes.] And even if you don't think you are, even if you may not be the best in all the world -- you are lacking that financial security I mentioned -- I still like you regardless. I'm certainly not stuck with you.
[... Because he could just not try, he could just be fine with sticking from afar, keep to the niceness of their customer-employee relationship, but Akira is someone he likes spending time with, for some reason shares the same visions or memories or whatever they are as him, and... though Goro isn't sure if they ever meet again after that, if it's not just some coincidence and the like, here, in this city, he has Akira's company and that's enough.]
And... even if I was, I don't see it as a necessarily bad thing. We're friends, after all. I'm happy to be.
[Because he doesn't have very many, actually, but he doesn't want to say that. Not because it's pathetic or unbelievable but-- it's just not something he wants to say, even if he probably should confront that particular bit of himself at some point.]
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I wasn't ready for a lecture, gold digger.
[ Letting out a shaky sigh, he lets his shoulders drop as if all the weight has been lifted. Unlike Goro, Akira has no qualms with his lack of friends. It doesn't bother him, so he can mention it as a matter of fact: ]
I actually don't have many friends, so that means a lot... Thanks.
[ It's weird to not feel disappointment. Life really is changing. ]
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[That's surprising, he'd like to say, but... they could be similar like that, he supposes. After all, Goro knows he's quite popular, or that he was at least surrounded by people in high school, but friends is a different term all together. They're more like friendly faces.
He glances aside at Akira, bumping their shoulders together with a sincere smile.]
Well, quality is more important than quantity in my opinion! And you have a rather acceptable friend with you right now, if I may say so. Even if I text you useless trivia and keep you up far later than you should be at night.
[Akira doesn't seem to mind it, but maybe it just hasn't become annoying.]
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How. Cheeky. There's a dead look for a second, wry smile showing, as Goro preen himself whether bravado or not. Something about it makes him want to crush his pride, but he digresses. Be nice. Goro is a good boy. A cute boy. This is one of his charms. ]
The trivia will be handy one day. Just wait. [ He'll be a jeopardy king. ] Also, I don't think that statement is accurate since I had a hand in the late night excursions.
[ ... ]
So what's seriously keeping you up this late?
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I could ask you the same thing, Akira. [With the tone of wanting to hear those reasons.] But it's just... vision stuff. It'd seem things haven't been going very well for our favored side.
[The Phantom Thieves. Goro draws different shapes in the sand idly, letting the coolness be his grounding.]
That's a bit of an understatement, really, things have been going terribly for them. One minute they're beloved heroes, public enemy number one the next. Fortunate for the detective on the case. [Even if he hadn't felt all that happy? More... tired.]
Has... anything like that come up in yours?
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[ It might as well be, but he says this in that mocking whining tone, downplaying how serious it actually was. He joins in on sand art, though mostly adding details to Goro's shapes. This one? It has turned into a pizza. With wings. ]
Public enemy number one... [ Mm. ] I have nothing on the Phantom Thieves, actually.
[ He sounds a little crestfallen at first, but shrugs it off. The only certain thing he knows for sure is that his other self is his sense of justice is in the right place. Why would the crowd be cheering for them if they were really the enemy? ...He's only more confused. Tugging on his bangs again, he wishes wholeheartedly to receive any memory on the Phantom Thieves' internal operations. Trading what he recently received is a no brainer. ]
What happened to the Phantom Thieves?
[ Curiosity killed the cat. ]
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I don't know exactly what happened, but... they're being called murderers. I wonder if one of their "changes of heart" went wrong?
[A pause. He shakes his head, sighing.]
Or maybe the other me was right all along and they really are dangerous. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely," as I was reminded earlier by Miss Velveteen. [It's clear he doesn't like the idea, though.] Though I... suppose that's settled now, considering what happened to their leader.
[... This is the part that gives him more grief, honestly, he's fucking Confused about the murderer part but. There's a reason he's got insomnia tonight and it's got a clickbait title.]
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He listens intently though his eyes are on the sand art, but he's instantly overwhelmed by a vision. It looks like an amusement park similar to Disneyland and the Phantom Thieves have it to themselves? He's not sure why, but it looks fun... Yet their expressions don't convey mirth and happiness. They're shocked, in total peril that this may be their mistake.
Tugging on his bangs, he's trying to wrap his mind around it. Some pieces of the memory are missing, but it's evident they had good intentions. It reassures him, but the mystery continues—how do they "change the hearts" of individuals? What went wrong? ]
... We just need to have faith and stay loyal.
[ He says that because he knows, but also to support Goro, knowing fully well that he wants to be on their side in comparison to the other version of him. Idly, he starts drawing something else on the sand... It's a car with cat ears? It instinctively comes to mind when he hears "leader" since Akira thinks Morgana, the weird cat, is the true driver of the Phantom Thieves. While a little bossy, he finds the creature charming, so he's concerned about what might have happened to him. ]
Do I really want to know? [ Who can really say no to a murder clickbait? Not Akira. ] Spill.
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He was captured.
[Bile burns in his throat at the apparent passion the other him had at hunting down the other thieves, casting them as much of criminals as anyone else; I don't care if they come after me, so boldly declared, for the victims of their evil deeds, and for their families--]
And died in custody, it'd seem, by his own hand. [What was that person like? Was he really so prideful as the other him thought, to rather die than be dishonored by capture?] It caused quite a stir, though... the other me seemed level-headed.
[A little dizzy, a little caught up in his own world, something like that. Undesired, wanting only to be needed and relied on, did all he could to achieve that-- and was given some... sort of gift from the gods, though Goro doesn't quite understand that part of the vision at all.
... Just how did he dispose of those in his way?]
I suppose that's what experience in the fields gets you, [though he's oddly quiet and distant.] Though I don't know how I feel about him. Me.
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Akira looks dubious, slightly alarmed at the memory that might come (fortunately, he's spared)—until he feels the weight against him. Shifting a bit, he looks over to him for one moment only to catch that vulnerable expression then instinctive averts his gaze. While what's said doesn't instantly alert him of turmoil, it reeks in the tone, the gestures, and definitely the last line. He can guess there's more behind all of this, but he chooses not to press.
Their other selves led a different life, ones where their past and ambitions glistened brightly. He can only wonder what Goro saw, if it painted a different picture of his other self... And if he wants to tell him, then only in time.
Quietly, he leans against him in return, as if saying it's all right. ]
You are not him. Don't forget that.
[ The end of the Phantom Thieves, the shady suicide, Goro's rising popularity in this past life whatever it is, his experience in the field—none of it matters right now. ]
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And to think I was jealous of him once upon a time.
[God, no, not anymore. He shakes his head.]
Thank you. [...] So what sort of visions have you been getting? I do hope they're more pleasant than my own.
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[ He doesn't pull away even when the ugly truth rears its head. Goro may have it better from what it sounds like, there's nothing envious of this other self, but... Akira finds this other version of himself admirable in many ways. Even if "ruin" is in their future, that person continues on with their struggle to change society. They have purpose, they have a place to belong, they have friends to rely on—how can he not be jealous of that?
It used to stir such bitter feelings about himself, but he remembers Silver's words, how he'll most definitely become cooler than his 10 year-old self. For that moment, Akira wonders if he will become better than this Phantom Thief taking the country by night, even just a little bit. Shifting in place, he rests his head on Goro's shoulder in deep contemplation. ]
Just some weird dreams my other self had. Apparently, he was in a jail cell? In someone's "velvet room". There were two little girls as wardens that were patronizing him, and the master had a huge nose kind of like a crow's beak. The master also said my other self was the "trickster" and he had to go through "rehabilitation".
[ He shares this only because he has no idea how it connects to any of his other memories. Of course "ruin" is obvious and is strategically kept away. Closing his eyes, he pulls up the memory again. Igor makes a seriously creepy dungeon master. ]
I thought I was weird.
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[He's weird too, after all. Liz is weird. Silver can be kind of startling too, Ann is a little awkward at times, the vast majority of the people he's met on Retrospec's network are strange -- some more than others -- but to Goro, at least, Akira isn't weird.]
Those are odd dreams, though dreams themselves are always odd... Have you tries looking them up in a dream dictionary?
[... because goro absolutely indulges in that, why wouldn't he, they're fun and mean about as much to one's psyche as freud]
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It's true. There are a lot weirder personalities in Retrospec. Bless. ]
That's because you're also weird, Go-ro.
[ A dream dictionary? Akira is sure it's a dream, but it also felt so real. At that moment, he remembers something changing in him, like he made a bond with the residents of the Velvet Room.
... ]
For some reason, I feel like this is a trap to get me to read up on how I'm a deviant or something.
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Are you a deviant? Is it dangerous for me to be alone with you?
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Am I? [ He strokes his chin, looking up at the moon in Deep Thought. Is this existential crisis or enlightenment? ] What do you think?
[ Goro gets to decide his fate in one single answer. ]
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No more than I am.
[which means?]
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You see me in such a positive light, A-ke-chi.
[ The mischievous look is back as Akira slides a hand down Goro's back, fingertips trailing along his spine. ]
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God, hopefully he doesn't get in over his head here.]
Deviant is a little too far for either of us, but it's not as if I'm without temptation. If there was ever a place... ever a time to try something new... then right now wouldn't be too bad, would it?
[... so much for not getting ahead of himself. he's gonna wanna die in a few.]
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One one hand, Akira does not want to lose at this small little game... On the other hand, he knows Goro is going to die. They might be awkward for weeks to come, but that's not his fault, right? (it is definitely his fault) Closing his eyes, he merely looks pleased from the touch. ]
I can't answer that for you. [ But he takes that hand and brings it close, brushing his lips against the knuckles. ] What's on your mind right now?
[ His voice dips as those words ghost over Goro's fingers. Akira is definitely trying to push him to the edge, make him surrender and admit to defeat. This is definitely a trap. Who will crack first? ]
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... Something I shouldn't ask you for. [His throat's dry, but he still speaks, curling his fingers tighter against Akira's with a hard swallow.] It's not racy or risque, nothing like that, but I still shouldn't.
[It'd definitely make things weird, as nice as it'd be in the moment. Or maybe it wouldn't be nice.]
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What happened to all that confidence earlier?
[ What a whiplash!! ]
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